Hugh Reviews Everleigh, Fitzroy

My first thought, looking around this bar is that it is a perfect example of the way Western popular culture is eating itself; it doesn’t so much look like a recreation of a 1920s bar with a twist, as a recreation of a recreation of a 1920s bar with a limp bit of lemon floating in it. Although the crypto-taxidermied rabbit is a nice touch.

The place is new enough that they’re still painting the entryway and it has all the contrived underground-chic and Fitzroy-snobbery you would expect of a new overpriced cocktail joint on Gertrude St. The cocktails are good, but, honestly, that’s hardly enough, the cocktails are good at The Carlton Yacht Club and it has more character and lower prices. If you’re opening a cocktail bar it’s pretty much a given that the cocktails will be good, you need to do more if you want it to be a good cocktail bar. Especially if you’re going to overcharge, not just for the cocktails, but for bottled beer and house wines.

A trip to the wash-rooms will reveal at least one reason for the wallet-gouging; in place of paper towel the Everleigh has a pile of old-fashioned looking hand-towels; their laundry bill must be immense. Also in the toilets is the list of house-rules which is about as pretentious and onanistic as one might expect, and then a little more. It includes an admonishment that groups larger than 6 cannot be catered for, as they offer seated service only, perhaps another reason they have to charge 20% more than most others offering a similar product.

But some people like to be overcharged at restaurants and bars; it makes them feel important or something, so if that’s you, you’ll probably love the Everleigh. But really, if you must pay too much for a cocktail, hoof it a couple of blocks up Brunswick St to the Alchemist; the atmosphere leaves the Everleigh for dead.

Verdict: I had a good time, but I didn’t stay long and I shan’t be going back, there are a host of better cocktail bars in and around the area, try the aforementioned Carlton Yacht Club or Caz Reitop’s Dirty Secrets instead. 1.5 admittedly mighty tasty Mint Juleps out of 5.

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Hugh Reviews CUB’s “Hello Beer” Ad Campaign

It is not in any way a new idea that the entire global marketing fraternity are Satan’s devil-monkeys sent to earth to drag humanity down to the most wretched, degraded levels of consumer misery, all in the aid of someone who has never been without everything they could possibly want or need accruing a slightly larger number of meaningless currency units, but occasionally they really pull out all the stops and show us what loathsome arse-hats they really are. CUB’s “Hello Beer” campaign is one of those times.

The campaign is essentially a call to shun any-and-all responsibility and get loaded, hardly something teenagers need to be encouraged to do. I don’t object at all to a little bit of unhealthy fun now and then, but it’s baffling that in a country that is so overly-concerned with the well-being of its constituents that it has a tendency to treat them as disobedient children ad campaigns can exist that essentially encourage behaviour likely to lead to liver-damage, depression, and broken dreams. Honestly, the tag-line of this campaign may as well read: “Alcoholism: it’s cool!”, or “Binge-drinking: get into it!” And in the context of the images featured in this campaign the admonishment to ‘enjoy responsibly’ is shown up as the hollow kowtow to political correctness that it is.

Verdict: The film of pond-scum that dreamed this masterpiece up should be sent to prison to spend the next five years being sodomised against its will, along with every other wretched individual who thinks it’s justifiable to mislead, bully, and bamboozle people for money.